The tradition of making and sticking to New Year’s Resolutions is daunting for many of us. It can be overwhelming to narrow in on behaviors and habits about our current selves that we want to change, and the pressure of unattainable standards can feel so heavy that we decide to do nothing at all. But setting goals for ourselves is healthy and important for our psychological, and emotional growth and with some help and self reflection, they are completely attainable.

You have the power to change your patterns whether you’re beginning on the first of January or the end of December. Our “resolutions“ do not have to start or end with the new year. Instead, think of it as a fluid and ongoing process of positive and intentional change. During this process remember to prioritize, organize, and to be flexible and kind to yourself! Here are the 5 steps for making your New Year’s resolutions stick.:

1. Start small

To begin, think about what areas in your life you value most and what is and is not working within them. This is a great place to begin when deciding on resolutions. To focus on the real meaning of resolutions you can imagine them as intentions for the year instead.

Meditate, reflect on and write down areas of your live that you desire growth or change in. This can tell you on a smaller scale what to focus on so that your energy is spent well and with intention. All change begins small, and if you decide on a goal that later you realize is too demanding, there is no shame in scaling it down to something more comfortable or tossing it out altogether. If jogging five times a week is exhausting you emotionally, try scaling it down to two days a week and see how you feel.

2.Be realistic

The biggest mistake that many of us make when planning goals is making them unattainable and ambiguous. Make sure that your goals are measurable and realistic for you and your situation. Steer away from ambiguous goals like “be healthy” and “read more” and instead narrow in on specifics like “go to the gym twice a week” and “read one book a month.” Goals like these are easy to track and clear to understand and will help you to better organize your thoughts and habits.

3. MAKE EMOTIONAL ConnectionS to YOUR GOALS

This is a step that is often times overlooked. We know that we want to for example, join a community tennis league, but why? How will we feel after? Will we enjoy it? The most important part of choosing a goal is to make sure that it holds an emotional connection. We want our goals to be meaningful to us and we also want to understand why they are. Ask yourself how you will feel emotionally after the goal is met. For example, joining a tennis league will make me feel more social, I will feel more confident because I will be stronger, etc…

Write these feelings down, and try to begin associating them with the habits and goals that you choose.

4. STAY Positive

Monitor your mental well-being throughout your process and prioritize your mental health. Goals, habits, and resolutions should not be draining to you and they definitely shouldn’t add negativity to your life. Check in on yourself often and meditate on what this journey might be bringing up emotionally.

Goals that can be said and written like affirmations are highly effective. You can do this by changing a goal like “I will spend less money” into an affirming phrase like “I will invest into my future by saving 10% of each paycheck.” This phrase is small, realistic, emotionally connected, and positive.

Your energy is valuable and so are you! Be kind, forgiving, and honest with yourself so that sticking to your goals will serve you fully.

5. CREATE sOCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY

You can keep yourself accountable in many ways! The American Psychological Association published research supporting the relationship between consistent tracking to higher success of goals. Whether reporting your goals on paper or through a habit tracking app like our personal favorite, Brooklet, having a visual understanding of your progress has been shown to help maintain accountability and motivation.

Social accountability is also important when sticking to resolutions. You can do this online through social media, habit tracking apps, or online forums. You can also do this in real life of course! For example, taking up sewing with a friend and holding each other accountable. We are often more inclined to do something when we know that we might let someone down; when there is someone else affected by our actions (or inactions).

Building a community of like-minded people who have the commonality of a desire for growth is a force to reckon with! Through the ups and downs of sticking with resolutions or goals, having a support system that can empathize with you will help you feel more grounded and supported. And you’ll find that uplifting those who lean on you will help to empower you too!