Welcome to part 4 of our self-compassion journal series! We’ve explored what self-compassion through daily journaling, letter writing, and positive affirmations. Today we’re cultivating self-compassion through positive comparison.
Social comparison is completely natural in the development of humans. It’s normal to compare your productivity, looks, and abilities to other people in order to place yourself in the world. With such easy access now to heavily curated lives online, it can be even harder to avoid falling into a hole of jealousy and negative comparison. But there is a way that we can empower ourselves through comparison too. The trick? Self-compassion of course!
“We cannot ignore our pain and feel compassion for it at the same time.”
— Dr. Kristin Neff
exercise 4: positive comparison
The truth is, jealousy arrises in all of us as some point or another, but it’s how you process these feelings that will determine how you are effected. When you see someone who you feel jealous of, it can be triggering, but often times that person that you feel jealous of, is actually really similar to you. They might have the same career goals, have a similar style, share similar interests, etc. It can feel like you’re failing when you see them have the things, relationships, followings, or careers that you don’t have. There is so much room for all of us and all that we have to offer!
How do we turn jealousy into compassion for others and ourselves? Get some paper and something to write with, and let’s get started.
1. Think of someone you’ve felt jealous of or, think of someone you admire. What do they have that you want? What about them do you feel jealous of or, what about them do you admire? Use a balanced approach to this. Write things down without judgment, or exaggeration.
Example:
She bought her first house at 25
She graduated with honors
He is constantly traveling to beautiful places
She has a healthy relationship
He makes friends easily
2. What do you have in common with them? We often overlook and downplay our own positive qualities and accomplishments while we fawn over or celebrate them in others. Recognize your commonness with that person by writing down similarities.
Example:
We both have great style
We both love to read
We both love traveling
We both value healthy relationships
We both know the importance of good friendships
Compassion for oneself and for others go hand in hand. If we work to develop one, we’ll also be working to enrich the other. What would it feel like to reach out to the person you’ve felt jealous of in the past, or someone that you admire with some kind words? Remember, other people’s successes are not a threat to our own, in actuality, their success is bringing us closer to our own!
Thanks for being a part of this series, we appreciate you so much! Still, we have a lot to learn and so many ways to practice self-compassion beyond this series. Self-compassion isn’t a destination, it’s a continual journey that shifts and changes with us. That means that we must allow ourselves to be slow learners when it comes to practicing self-compassion. So give yourself grace, and space away from self-compassion exercises when you need it. Being a human is hard, but we’re right here with ya!
Need help getting started with self-compassion journaling? We created a free self-paced 5 day self-compassion journal challenge. Click the button below to sign up.
Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. It is the body’s physical response to a real or perceived threat, demand, or danger.
Everyone experiences stress at different levels. Even when the same stressors are present, our experiences can be different. Certain groups experience higher levels of stress, for example, communities of color, LGBTQIA+, women, and parents.
Stress isn’t always harmful. For example, think about the motivation you feel to study for your next exam, or the urge to make a to-do list on a Sunday. These are positive ways that stress can help you focus and complete tasks. But when stress is frequent and intense, it can affect your overall health, resulting in a reduced quality of life.
This is why we want to help you get to the root cause of your stress, understand the ays it manifests for you, and learn preventative tools for coping with stress. Because you deserve a healthy, happy life.
Has a trip to the grocery store ever sent you home in a panic? Was it the fluorescent lights buzzing? The sticky feeling of your sneakers on the floor? Maybe it was the squeaky wheel on your grocery cart or the strong smell of fresh paint? Maybe it was the awkward small talk with an old friend you saw or the interaction you had with the cashier. Or, maybe, it was all of it.
If you’ve ever experienced being overwhelmed like this, you might be a highly sensitive person and you aren’t alone. Nearly 20% of people are highly sensitive and face the same common issues. And while highly sensitive people might experience similar challenges, let me be clear that sensitivity is in no way a character flaw.
Being a highly sensitive person is not a diagnosis, and we discourage the use of it as a negative label for yourself and others. The list we are sharing today is intended to help highly sensitive people feel validated and understand why they may feel a certain way. This list can also be a helpful tool for friends and family of highly sensitive people.
Being sensitive has a negative connotation for a lot of people, especially if they have been accused of or labeled with it in the past. We hope we can help reframe the way people see sensitivity.
In our last blog about ADHD, we discussed what ADHD is, how it typically manifests in women, information on diagnoses, and resources. Today we’re digging in deeper and sharing real, meaningful ways you can combat the symptoms of ADHD. From time management to emotional regulation and sorting paper chaos, these research-based strategies will provide you with straightforward approaches to ease stress and overwhelm so you can live a better, more satisfying life. Before we get started, let us remind you that you don’t need to do all the strategies mentioned to be productive and successful. Find what techniques resonate with you and leave the rest. Honor your humanness. It’s important to be gentle with yourself on your mental health journey.
PRACTICAL TOOLS AND INTERVENTIONS FOR ADHD MENTIONED:
You keep losing your phone, locking your keys in the car, you’re constantly late and feel emotionally overwhelmed. You feel you can never pay attention, you start a lot of projects which you never end up finishing, and you are constantly feeling burnt out. Maybe someone in your life has told you “you might have ADHD” or maybe you’ve been hearing more about the signs and symptoms on Instagram or TikTok and something resonates in you. Whatever the reason, educating yourself is the first step in getting treatment for the symptoms that may be wreaking havoc in your life.
Today we will be talking all about ADHD and women, why it goes unnoticed, common symptoms, if a diagnosis matters, and resources to help you gain control of your life.
July is BIPOC Mental Health Month. We recognize the many layers of barriers that prevent people of color from receiving the support they need. We believe that all people deserve access to health care, especially in a world where Black, Indigenous, and people of color are systemically discriminated against. In an effort to continue advocating for the Black community and other underrepresented communities, we put together this brief guide on BIPOC Mental Health Month.
Anxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, dread, and uneasiness typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. Social anxiety is a feeling of worry or nervousness focused mainly on social interactions. To better understand social anxiety, let’s start by learning the main components that anxiety is created and sustained by:
Physiological
Rapid heart rate
Sweaty palms
A lack of appetite
Cognitive
Anxious thoughts
Predictions
Judgments
Behavioral
Avoiding certain people, places, or situations
Difficulty saying “no” and honoring boundaries
Tendency to snap at others with little warning
Most people with anxiety experience all 3 parts together. If your professor emails you and asks to speak after class tomorrow, you might experience your heart drop, and your hands begin to sweat (Physiological). Then you might notice yourself starting to worry, and creating scenarios about what they will tell you (Cognitive). Then you might put it off by skipping your next class and finally struggling to make eye contact once you’re there (Behavioral).
When we struggle with anxiety all three components happen almost automatically. That’s why to challenge social anxiety, we must also challenge the three components. The following daily hacks utilize these components.
To witness someone who you care about suffering or struggling can be difficult. It can feel heartbreaking to know that that person could benefit from professional help and yet not see them take that step. Approaching a loved one with the, “Hey, I think you need to talk to someone.” can be a challenging task, but one that we think we can help you navigate.
While it’s not always obvious, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. We do things like procrastinate, push people away, drink excessively, set unrealistic goals, and break our own boundaries. We don’t do these things because we’re broken or crazy, and we don’t do them because we lack willpower or discipline. Self-sabotage isn’t about being lazy, it’s about you doing your best to cope. Sabotaging yourself, or being in control of certain areas in your life might give you a false sense of control. This might feel safer rather than allowing yourself to be vulnerable to being hurt by something or someone. Give yourself some compassion for trying to cope, and survive, however that has looked like. And remember, who you are and who you have been is not who you will always be. You are always allowed to start new and change old patterns and we’re here to help along the way.
Like any journey, the journey to mental health and wellness might include detours, starts and stops, long pauses, and unexpected factors at play. Choosing to return to therapy is BIG and your dedication to your mental health doesn’t go unnoticed. Whether you haven’t spoken to your therapist in months and are feeling anxious about making the call, you’ve “finished” therapy and are considering returning, or you ghosted your therapist and feel awkward about reaching out again, this is for you. Here are 5 tips for going BACK to therapy.
Being a parent is much more than just providing clothing, a roof over your head, and food on the table. For children to develop into healthy adults, they need to feel safe and supported to grow, be known, and express themselves.
Most emotionally immature parents have no awareness of how they’ve affected their children. To be clear, we aren’t placing blame on these parents, we are seeking to understand why they are the way they are. The goal here is to help you gain new insights about your parent(s) in order to increase your own self-awareness and emotional freedom.
Nov 17, 2021
Nov 17, 2021
Stress is a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. It is the body’s physical response to a real or perceived threat, demand, or danger.
Everyone experiences stress at different levels. Even when the same stressors are present, our experiences can be different. Certain groups experience higher levels of stress, for example, communities of color, LGBTQIA+, women, and parents.
Stress isn’t always harmful. For example, think about the motivation you feel to study for your next exam, or the urge to make a to-do list on a Sunday. These are positive ways that stress can help you focus and complete tasks. But when stress is frequent and intense, it can affect your overall health, resulting in a reduced quality of life.
This is why we want to help you get to the root cause of your stress, understand the ays it manifests for you, and learn preventative tools for coping with stress. Because you deserve a healthy, happy life.
Nov 17, 2021