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While it’s not always obvious, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. We do things like procrastinate, push people away, drink excessively, set unrealistic goals, and break our own boundaries. We don’t do these things because we’re broken or crazy, and we don’t do them because we lack willpower or discipline. Self-sabotage isn’t about being lazy, it’s about you doing your best to cope. Sabotaging yourself, or being in control of certain areas in your life might give you a false sense of control. This might feel safer rather than allowing yourself to be vulnerable to being hurt by something or someone. Give yourself some compassion for trying to cope, and survive, however that has looked like. And remember, who you are and who you have been is not who you will always be. You are always allowed to start new and change old patterns and we’re here to help along the way.

3 Ways you’re self-sabotaging and how to stop

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Sweet biscuit sugar plum. Halvah chocolate bar jujubes. Dragée donut candy.

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While it’s not always obvious, sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. We do things like procrastinate, push people away, drink excessively, set unrealistic goals, and break our own boundaries. We don’t do these things because we’re broken or crazy, and we don’t do them because we lack willpower or discipline. Self-sabotage isn’t about being lazy, it’s about you doing your best to cope. Sabotaging yourself, or being in control of certain areas in your life might give you a false sense of control. This might feel safer rather than allowing yourself to be vulnerable to being hurt by something or someone. Give yourself some compassion for trying to cope, and survive, however that has looked like. And remember, who you are and who you have been is not who you will always be. You are always allowed to start new and change old patterns and we’re here to help along the way.

For most people, the holidays look very different this year. As we continue to adjust to our current reality, it’s important that we also work to maintain our mental health. From fears of the pandemic, the isolating effects of social distancing, confronting and relearning racial injustice in the U.S., natural disasters, financial struggles, and the stress of the presidential election, it’s no surprise that anxieties are high for many of us. Even without the pandemic to consider, we have to acknowledge the inevitable stress, anxiety, and depression that can come up for many people during the colder months and the holidays. This time of year is hard, and if you’re struggling right now, this is for you. Today we share 5 tips to help protect your mental health during and after the 2020 holiday season.

We say yes a lot, and if you’re anything like us you might have a habit of saying it when you don’t always mean it. We do this for so many reasons – we don’t want to say no in fear that we won’t be asked to hang out again, we might fear disappointing someone by not agreeing to help, or we might worry about being perceived as lazy or unproductive. Whatever the reason is, by justifying why we constantly need to satisfy others, we in turn our betraying our own self-respect. The thing is, your time is never less worthy than someone else’s. Once we reconnect with our awareness and see how truly valuable our time, space and energy are, we can be better equipped to know where to set our boundaries and how to honor them; and sometimes that means saying “No.”

The past few weeks have been emotional. It’s June 2020 and communities across the United States and all over the world, are coming together to stand and fight for change. It’s been both heartbreaking and inspiring. And as we confront systemic and institutionalized white supremacy, and work to eliminate and counteract racism, we must not forget about taking care of ourselves. Remember, the fight doesn’t stop. Our collective strength will continue, and our voices will be heard.

It’s okay to take a moment to recollect ourselves, because by neglecting self-care we run the risk of burnout and exhaustion. Self-care is essential to maintain our energy and motivation, because the fight doesn’t stop.

Personal boundaries define where you end and others begin and are determined by the amount of physical and emotional space you allow between yourself and others.

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